Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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