Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
