I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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