Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
