gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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