the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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