how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
