i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
