I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
