whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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