Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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