When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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