Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
