brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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