I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
