The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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