I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
