Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
