If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
