In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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