if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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