This house was built for laser tag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
