How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
