if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was CRYING into my vagina
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
