At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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