I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
