Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
