yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
