make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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