Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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