what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
