i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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