were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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