? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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