He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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