can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
