Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
