also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
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How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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