He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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