after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
