Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
