But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
