it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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