Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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