I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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