I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
