TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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