Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
