He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
