There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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