Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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