When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
