and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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