I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
