i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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