I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
