One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
