The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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