About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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