Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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