Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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