oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
