dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
